What's all the fuss about self-love?
So what is all the fuss around self-love. It seems to be a bit of a catch phrase at the moment. But why?
This week I’m taking part in Mel Wells, Self-Love week. I took part in the Self-Love Advent Challenge in December & it’s a great way of remembering to take actions just for us. Actions that honour us, that value us.
So what is self-love?
We’ve all heard the phrase “X loves themselves” – and usually used in a derogatory way to indicate the presence of some arrogance. – it doesn’t mean that.
What it’s about is honouring yourself, respecting yourself, treating yourself kindly, speaking to yourself kindly. In essence, treating yourself as you would a good friend or family member. Keeping the promises we make to ourselves, as we would those we make to others. e.g. yesterday I’d said I was going to do a workout. Eventually at 9.00pm I got round to it – I’m worth keeping my promises to.
It’s about valuing your self and believing your worth looking after – you are by the way
In practical terms what does self-love mean?
Eating & feeding ourselves in a way that makes us feel good – mentally, physically & emotionally – so is satisfying and with no negativity attached.
Taking time for ourselves – be it 5 minutes for a quick walk outside, time to sit & read a book, meeting friends for coffee, a soak in the bath – whatever you enjoy.
Taking time to look after ourselves physically – going for those check-ups – yes even cervical screening & mammograms can be seen as self-love! Getting enough sleep. Resting when necessary. Building movement into our day.
It’s learning to not criticise ourselves if we “fail” or don’t achieve everything we wanted to in a day. We put such high expectations on ourselves that we are setting ourselves up to fail before we begin. Build into our day realistic goals and some time for ourselves to recharge.
Sometimes self-love is doing something that’s challenging or we find hard – something to help us towards our goals or something that we find uncomfortable & out of our comfort zone. (read more here)
We want to do what we can to live the best life we can – whatever that means to us as individuals. See my post “Principles for Day to Day” to see how I try to build it into my daily habits.
Why bother with self-love?
Self-love is not prescriptive. We’re all different so different actions will feel like self-care to us. For me self-love & self-care are intertwined. The care we give people who we love is a sign that we love them & it’s the same for us. Looking after ourselves, in the holistic meaning, demonstrates that we love & care for ourselves.
So often we feel pressure to put other peoples needs before our own. Self-love is not about ignoring other people’s needs, but not forgetting about our own as well. To coin a phrase Mel used “[we] bulldoze our needs to people please.” If we constantly neglect our own needs and care, it becomes increasingly hard to look after other people’s needs.
It’s easy to put off doing things for ourselves, however small they seem, in order to get things done. Getting into into the habit of taking small actions to look after ourselves & recharge our batteries on the regular, when life gets hard or we’re feeling low these actions can help us through. Self-love & self-care affects our mental & physical health. Self-love can take us towards our goals & dreams – to take action to reach them.
Let me know what acts you do to honour yourself. What do you enjoy doing for self-care?