Can a Gratitude Mindset Really be that Important?
“It is not joy that makes us grateful, it is gratitude that makes us joyful ”
— DAVID STEINDL-RAST
I saw this quote shared on Instagram earlier this week and I just nodded my head and said yes.🙌
I can’t remember who first introduced me to the idea of gratitude journalling, but it has been a real eye-opener. Just noting at least 3 things every day that I’m grateful for – I usually write them down but sometimes it’s in my head.
I’d always thought I was someone who was grateful and I was to a certain extent, but when I began making it a conscious part of my day I was amazed by the mindset shift it brought with it. It gave me a more positive outlook on life in general.
Gratitude in Reality
So, as I sit here having been woken up at 4.30am and not being able to get back to sleep, yes there’s a part of me that wishes it hadn’t happened but I’m grateful as I was able to see the sunrise. I’m grateful as I’m able to enjoy the peace and quiet before the rest of the household gets up. I’m enjoying a cup of coffee and have already decided I can always have a nap later💤.
Is there a part of me that wants to seek revenge and wake up the guilty parties by hoovering? – yes, but I won’t😂 because I’m nice, like that!
“This relationship with creation is one of the key relationships within which we exist, and one that helps keep us sane. It causes me to look outside of myself, to something and someone bigger. We need it to thrive.”
— PHIL NORRIS
Placing a focus on being grateful and expressing that gratitude has as the quote says, indeed made me more joyful. Instead of focusing on the things that go wrong, or don’t work out quite as planned it has become easier to focus on the good and the positive.
It’s not easy every day but there is always something and I’ve related it to all aspects of my life.
Getting out in nature produces feelings of gratitude without me even thinking about it - just looking around and pausing brings feelings of wonderment. Phil Norris, sums up our relationship with nature perfectly😀
We can’t control events but can control our reaction.
We can’t control events that happen but we can control our response to them. That doesn’t mean other emotions and feelings aren’t valid but if we can focus on gratitude as a mindset they can seem more manageable: e.g. in lockdown at the moment I’m sure there are many of us who are missing things, who’ve had plans cancelled or postponed but instead of focussing on that I’m trying to focus on what I do have – a garden, access to woods and nature, a house full of people (maybe not so grateful at 4.30am!), we are all well, access to technology so I can connect with others the list goes on.
We’ve spent time together as a family that we normally only manage on holiday, we’ve played games, we even did a “Come Dine With Me” style competition – we’ve created fun. Does that mean we haven’t had our wobbles, our squabbles even, our this is boring moments – no. But on the whole we’ve managed to maintain a positive attitude through focusing on what we do have & what we can do, as well as expressing gratitude to those still out there working & the NHS.
Gratitude and Self-Love
Having a gratitude mindset has played a big part in my journey to self-love and body acceptance. Changing the way I talk to and think about my body by expressing gratitude to it has been transformative. Instead of berating it and wishing it looked different I can feel gratitude for all that it enables me to do. That it still functions well despite ways I’ve treated it in the past.
Recognising that how my body looks doesn’t define who I am or the limits I place upon myself has been liberating. It’s not what people will remember me for. I can still look after it and treat it with love but it is not the totality of me. The quote from Whole Beet Kitchen says it all.
Steps to Developing a Gratitude Mindset
Start small - write down, or make a mental note of just 3 things you are grateful for every day. Over time try and build to 10.
Be more present in your day to day - take a pause & you’ll notice things around you.
Pause & breathe before you react.
Recognise that all experiences can have learning in them - it may be difficult to see at the time but in retrospect it can be acknowledged.
Remember though that whatever you’re feeling is valid and gratitude is a tool that can help you move through those feelings.
Let me know what you’re grateful for in your life.